Captain Klitschko May Send Finkel
To Davey Jones Locker

Written By William Trillo
Foto Folly: Bret "The Threat" Newton
 

Wladimir Klitschko will be making his way state side later this week and the first item on his agenda will be to have a meeting of the minds with his K2 associates to discuss what to do about Shelly Finkel and his act during the Klitschko/Briggs negotiations, or lack thereof.

If it were up to many boxing fans, Shelly would be walking the plank on that vacation Luxury Liner he is on right now, never to to set foot on dry land again.

Finkel had Briggs' name on a contract worth only $250,000 to Shannon, and clearance from HBO. That's when the piracy of Finkel began as he spent two months pillaging everyone while waiting for the Rahman-Maskaev fight, hoping to set up a bout with Rahman, who Finkel was sure would be the victor. But Oleg came out on top and shiver me timbers, that scallywag Finkel tries to put Maskaev in Klitschko leg irons. But avast, the 37-year-old Maskaev had pains up the kazoo and his manager Dennis Rappaport told Finkel another time, a different port.

So, while Wladimir is awaiting word on an opponent and is eager to get into training, Finkel is sunning himself and drinking Mai Tais on deck -- all the while "working" by cell phone, turning his cannons (sorry Shannon) on untested top contender, Calvin Brock, an unexciting fighter guaranteed to produce an unexciting fight, guaranteed to do zilch for Wlad's image, which the Urkanian has been eager to rebuild. And, after Finkel offers Brock $750,000, the wily old Pirate gets out-maneuvered at high sea by a pair of landlubber bankers Calvin Brock and his Father, who first demand $1.5 million, settle for $1.2 million, which is almost 1 million more than the deal he had on the table with Briggs. 

Brock is a huge step down for Klitschko. Instead of a fighter with championship experience or a title, he gets another Sam Peter, only with Peter, at least he was exciting and had KO buzz. Brock's buzz is the sound of flies, hovering over a corpse of a sure to be yawner fight.

"Avast, Wladimir!" If now isn't the perfect time to let Shelly walk the plank then there never will be.

Finkel is currently on the skids with Manny Pacquiao and now he is up to his neck in high water with his heavyweight champ, whom he has no contractual tie to at all!!

If Wladimir makes Shelly hit the salty brine, and Pacquiao does the same, we’ll see if landlubbers can swim -- or even float.

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Before you check out our latest poll this week, please know that we really wanted to have you all vote on the following, but our editors would not allow this to go to the polls:

What should Wladimir Klitschko do with Shelly Finkel now that the Shannon Briggs fight is no longer going to happen?

A. Send him on a cruise to the North Pole on a ship without ice breakers

B. Have him write 1.2 million times on a chalk board, "I really screwed up, I am sorry."

C. Steal a rusty pruning shear from a lazy gardener who is sleeping on the job, and castrate Finkel with them.

D. Force Finkel to arrange a dinner at Chasen's with Larry Merchant, and fire him if he can't broker that deal.

E. Make him wear a scarf and earring at all press conferences and fights forever more….aarrgh!

You can still email your answers to me at  punchingbilly@aol.com

I will see to it the vote gets to the proper people.