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Slapstick Coming To
Staples Center Tonight
By William Trillo Foto Folly: Bret "the Threat" Newton
Like their great vaudevillian predecessors, Moe, Larry & Curly, Charlie Chaplin and Buster Keaton, and with the help of Promoter Don King, Fernando Vargas and Ricardo Mayorga have entertained us with a comedy routine that will go down as one of the all time classics.
It's almost a shame to think that
tonight, the final act is set to take place and upon
it's conclusion we will no longer be entertained by the
pratfalls that have had us chuckling since their opening
at the Los Angeles press conference back in early July.
It's a pretty meaningless fight when
you come down to the heart of the matter, yet, rumors of
mega PPV numbers are circulating and The Staple Center
itself has restructured seat pricing to allow more
patrons to be able to witness that Hi-jinx that is sure
to take place once the bell rings for the main event.
What else would we or should
we expect?
From the moment Mayorga gave Vargas
that Noogie on the back of his head only to have it
answered with a knuckle sandwich, it was more than
apparent that this show was going to be filled with knee
slapping guffaws.
Complete with fat jokes and pig
noises, Vargas and Mayorga have kept us in stitches.
Fernando's Incredible Hulk imitation was hilarious but a
bit overused. Remember Fernando, the first rule of
showbiz is "Always leave 'em wanting more."
Now, just when I thought it couldn't
get any better than this the boys outdid themselves
again. As if taking a page out of the Martin and Lewis
handbook our stars did it again at the final press
conference this week.
In a somewhat haphazard attempt to
keep the fighters apart, a Plexiglas board was set in
the middle of the stage to act as some sort of
flimsy barrier. As the press conference came to it's
conclusion Vargas and Mayorga got on either side of the
glass and started with the verbal taunts. Staying back a
bit, Mayorga baited Vargas to inch closer to the glass
and at the precise moment Ricardo gave the glass a shove
and before "El Feroz" knew what hit him, Vargas was
literally kissing the glass. Dino & Jerry couldn't have
written that script any better themselves.
So tonight, in front of what is
expected to be a raucous crowd, the stage is set for the
Grand Finale. The fight is being fought at some bizarre
catch weight because even with the help of a guru,
Vargas knew his chances of seeing 160 were about 11
tortillas short of a dozen. But it really doesn't matter
and in all honesty, neither does the outcome. King will
always find a place for Mayorga to play the villain role
and Vargas says this is the last time we will see him in
the ring...adios muchacho!
What does matter is that these guys
have saved their best for last.
I can see it now, Vargas will get
his foot stuck in the spit bucket and Mayorga will be
pulling him around the ring by his ear.
I know that sounds ridiculous, but
if you have seen any of the antics leading up
to tonight's battle, it's really not as far fetched as
it seems.
Questions Or Comments? Email Will "The Thrill" Trillo |
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